I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
