we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I AM VODKA MAN
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
