He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize