I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
