your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
