booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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