Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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