How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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