4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize