i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
