Plan B is the new Plan A
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Randomize
