Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
