I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
