Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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