You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
