ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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