So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
