what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
