At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize