I skipped work to stalk him.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
