I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize