I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
