he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
