Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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