Don't you send me to vm
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
