Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
