i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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