i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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