Define "chronic" masturbator.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
