ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
no, he came in my armpit
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
