it wasn't lemon gatorade
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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