dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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