i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
