I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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