How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
