used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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