The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You made out with two different species that night
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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