i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
