the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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