i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
