Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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