Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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