this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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