You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
