Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Randomize
