he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
God I need to hump something, right now.
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