Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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