He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There's a naked man in my car right now.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
