I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
