That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
