Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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