just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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