i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
