There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
