I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
