Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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