the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
