Is it because I queefed?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
