Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Best friends brother. Beat that.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Still dying that you shit outside
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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