the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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