I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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