McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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