My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
